365Jokes

One night as a bartender is closing up his bar, he hears a knock at the back door. When he opens the door, there is a bum who asks, "Can I have a toothpick please?" The bartender ...

A ventriloquist had just finished his polack joke routine when a huge, drunk polack comes up and says, ''I'm sick of your polack jokes and I'm going to knock the shit out of you.''...

A girl sees three dogs in the park and kneels down to pet them. "What's your name?" she asks the first. To her surprise, the dog answers "My name's Huey. I'm having a great day! I'...

There are two cannibals that are sitting around the fire enjoying a clown that had the misfortune of stumbling in the camp earlier that day. When one of them look to the other and ...

Four monks were meditating in a monastery when, all of a sudden, the prayer flag on the roof started flapping. The youngest monk came out of his meditation and said, "Flag is flap...

Two lawyers arrive at a pub and order a couple of drinks at the bar. Then they each open up their briefcases, take out sandwiches and begin to eat them.  The pub owner, unhappy wi...

A linguistics professor was lecturing his class one day. 'In English', he said, 'A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative ...

A guy said to God, "God, is it true that to you a billion years is like a second?" God said yes. The guy said, "God, is it true that to you a billion dollars is like a penny?" G...

(Explicit) A woman walks into an ice cream parlor and tells the guy behind the counter, "I'd like a gallon of chocolate ice cream, please." The counter man says, "I'm sorry but w...

With thanks to Ahmet Kasan- So, a man is climbing up a mountain when he slips and falls, and as he is is tumbling down, he fortunately catches hold of a small branch. As he is ha...

Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven. When they get there, St. Peter greets them by saying, "We only have one rule here in heaven: don't step on the ducks!" So...

A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later;...