Dear Hank & John

Is outer space full of vampires? Am I engaged? Why haven't our mouths evolved to be better at pumpkin spice lattes? And more! Email us: [email protected] patreon.com/dearhankan...

Where does candle wax go? Can you just switch where you're sitting one day? Does saying "I love you" eventually lose its meaning? And more! Email us: [email protected] patreon....

How do I get in on my neighbor's cranberry bread? How do I live in a very small room? Who's responsible for the divider in a checkout line? And more! Email us: [email protected]...

Where does all the extra body come from? Why are grapefruits called grapefruits? Is it acceptable to talk about social media in real life? And more! Email us: [email protected]...

How do I stop whistling? How do you not get burned out? How do I get rid of a death zit? And more! Email us: [email protected] patreon.com/dearhankdandjohn If you're in need of...

What do I say to my blind date? How do I get my mom to call me less frequently? Are you supposed to ask a father for his daughter's hand in marriage? And more! Email us: hankandjoh...

Why do I feel safer with the lights on? Why can't my bathtub be in my living room? Am I in danger of being electrocuted? And more! Turtles All the Way Down tour: http://www.turtles...

How far can you get making only right turns? What's the proper response to being constantly serenaded? Does fire have mass? And more! Email us: [email protected] patreon.com/de...

Is cake salty? How do I get alone time at a party without a cigarette? Where is the rest of An Imperial Affliction? And more! Email us: [email protected] patreon.com/dearhankan...

Why am I afraid of something I know doesn’t exist? Can I avoid scurvy by sticking my arm in a giant vat of orange juice? What is proper etiquette for a cat birthday party? And more...

What is a mug without a handle? When's the right time to get a Saturn tattoo? Should I come out when I'm not ready? And more! Email us: [email protected] patreon.com/dearhankan...

Could you take down a coyote with your arms? Should people be allowed to put things in someone else's Netflix queue? How do I cope with social anxiety? And more! Email us: hankandj...