Dear Hank & John

Should we fear a locust apocalypse? Will listening to Japanese while I sleep help me remember it? How do I remain confident in my art around older, more experienced artists? And mo...

Why won't people accept my tissues? Should half-wolf children be vaccinated? What do I do when I see a stranger crying in public? And more! If you're in need of dubious advice, ema...

What do I do while people are singing "Happy Birthday"? What are mushrooms even? Is it okay to want people to not be wrong? And more! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us ...

How do I go about my secret fiddle long con? Why do almost all zippers have the letters YKK on them? Do bugs ever have a destination in mind when they walk around aimlessly? And mo...

How do gas planets work? What is proper door etiquette? Is Hank going to put the lime in the coconut and drink it all together? And more! If you're in need of dubious advice, email...

Where all all the dead birds? Should I really live each day of my life like it's my last? Am I a fraud for being a social chameleon? And more! If you're in need of dubious advice, ...

What is my actual favorite color? At what point in the day do I switch to "have a good night" as my go-to courtesy? What do I do when The Big One hits? And more! If you're in need ...

Why are there holes in crackers? What is proper hot tub etiquette? Can I snapchat politicians about immigration reform? And more! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at h...

How do I organize someone else's books? How do I justify the money allocated to extending my life? How does tug of war work? And more! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us...

How do I dad? Are expiration dates just suggestions? What do I call the people I work with? Do I really need to get drunk on my twenty-first birthday? And more! If you're in need o...

Should I sell cold, fresh potty water? Why don't we write phonetically? Why do I like all this sad stuff? And more! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gma...

Are bell peppers airtight? How do I quit smoking? Why is that new baby smell so good? And more! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at [email protected] us for m...